i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
