Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
