Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
