I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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