operation have a gay friend backfired
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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