i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
