I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
