Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
