And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
