Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
