Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
