Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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