things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
