:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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