D3 body, D1 cock
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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