I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
