hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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