answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
