Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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