17 year olds will be the death of me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
