I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
