You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
