and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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