I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
