So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
