he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
