Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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