Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
