margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
