Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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