What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
