he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
