If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
