try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
