...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
