she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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