whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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