the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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