I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize