yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
