it was like his penis was on wheels.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
