is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
