i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
