Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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