I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
