So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
