i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize