sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
