I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
