guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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