True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and she was petting her beer can
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
