So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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