you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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