It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
