I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
