She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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