just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
