Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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