I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
