I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
