I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
