I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize