We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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