So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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