And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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