Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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