So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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