That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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