Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The adults are the big ones right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize