You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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