did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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