who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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