no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize